Today was a pretty hard day for me. It is the 5 year anniversary of my Dad's passing. There is a huge story here - suffice it to say that a fairly routine surgery had some MAJOR complications . I was executor of EVERYTHING and made the hardest decision any child could - to say goodbye amd discontinue life support. I stayed with my Dad until the very last minute, holding his hand and letting him know he was loved, telling him it was okay to go, they said it was just his body letting go - but I saw the tear roll down his cheek, felt him squeeze my hand and heard his last breath - everyone else had gone - no one else could stand to see him go but I couldn't leave him alone - not even my brother stayed (who we got home just hours earlier on emergency leave from Guam).
My dad was a wonderful man who taught me many things - strange things that most young girls don't know - how to lay plumbing lines for sprinkler systems, how to plumb a fence post and how to cut and lay ceramic tile just to name a few. He didn't often say I love you and had a gruff attitude with a teddy bear heart. He was loved by many - I didn't know how many until the service - we opted for a smaller room at the funeral home - and it was standing room only - they opened the windows and a partition wall and there were still others standing in doorways - it was a truly humbling experience - the love that was shown to my brother and myself.
So, in this, I say goodbye again - to my wonderful father with hope that in time the 19th of July will become easier to deal with and not quite so painful and a continued prayer in my heart that he knew just how much I loved him and that Heavenly Father will help to ease the burden my heart and head feels as I continue to struggle with my loss.
6 comments:
Your beautiful words help me appreciate my father more while he his still around. I'm sorry for your loss.
What a great post. He sounds like a wonderful father.
What a sad burden to bear.
And what a strong daughter you are.
I am always so touched at how the love we feel for those who pass continues to grow even stronger as the years go by.
I'm thinking of you.
I enjoyed your words. What a burden to bear. What a great daughther and what a great father.
I am a daddys girl and your words about your father were beautiful!
It has been 21 years for me. The pain does lessen with time, sadly so do some of the memories. It is just a fact that my parents aren't around any more, so I don't think about it that much, but... at other times things are brought to my memory and it is hard again. Certain days are more difficult at times than others. Big milestone years for whatever reason... (((HUGS)))
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